Formspring Friday: Why?

If you're looking for our Flash Fiction Friday story, it can be found here.

What motivated you to start sex blogging, and what keeps you going all this time later?

The main factor that motivated us to begin this blog in September 2008 was our need for an outlet in which we could talk about sex.  We have always been pretty honest about our enjoyment of sex, and we despise the current societal attitude whereby sex is seen as taboo, something that can be joked about, poked fun at, but never addressed seriously as something in which two or more (or for that matter, just one) consenting adults might indulge of their own free will, and actually enjoy.

Think about it: These days we can talk about almost any topic in a social setting.  Even politics and religion, two things that once were simply not discussed in polite company, are now fair game.  But sex?  Try bringing up your sex life in the bleachers at your kid's soccer game and see how quickly the other parents look at you like you're some kind of deviant.  And if your morning water-cooler talk happens to shift from American Idol to the wonderful oral sex your significant other gave you the night before, you can bet you'll be called into your supervisor's office.

This widespread reticence with regard to sex is bewildering.  After all, sex is a normal biological instinct.  Much like eating, sleeping, and (hopefully) bathing, it's something that everyone does, or at the very least something that everyone wants to do.  The notion that it's something to be ashamed of, discussed only in a whisper, or viewed with an unfair gender-based double-standard, is unfortunate and misguided.

We are fortunate to count amongst our friends a handful of people who, like us, are comfortable talking about their sex lives in sometimes-explicit terms; people who aren't uncomfortable with their naked bodies; and people who enjoy watching pornography in a medium-sized group setting.  However, in September 2008 we were living hours away from these people.  We knew almost no one in our area beyond family members, and what few friends we had were the sort who, were we to broach the topic of sex, would likely shudder at the sound, then offer to pray for our eternal souls.

The creation of this blog was one of many steps we've taken in order to rebel against the widespread defamation and fear of sex.  It was subtle rebellion, certainly, but rebellion nonetheless.  While we did not physically protest the religious establishment and the right-wing politicians who seek to oppress not only women but anyone who enjoys non-procreative sexual activity, the blog was a constant reminder of how important sex was to us - and for that matter, still is - and of the need to constantly remain in motion lest our sex life become stagnant and uninspired.

At first, we enjoyed documenting our fantasies, sex dreams, and notable episodes from our sexual histories.  We enjoyed the exhibitionism of these writings, and didn't mind the fact that most of the feedback we received was from some of the aforementioned open-minded personal friends.  After all, we weren't blogging for the interaction so much as we were blogging so that our sexual sides could have a voice.

Before answering the second part of this question, i.e. what keeps us going some three and a half years later, it's necessary to point out that this blog was dormant for more than a year.  The reasons for our extended hiatus have been explained in-depth elsewhere on our blog, and though we have returned with a vengeance, it's worth noting that while we were absent, we had no plans of ever blogging again.

Since resuming our blog in August 2011, a number of factors have provided us with motivation.  The greatest motivator still is - and always will be - the sexual outlet with which blogging provides us.  In fact, it is perhaps more important now than it was in the beginning. The fact that we are now parents and means that we are ironically viewed by others as less sexual.  Presumably the well-meaning friends and relatives who've occasionally joked about our sex lives now being over are drawing on their own experiences after becoming parents, though we seem to be doing all right.

Additionally, some of the sex-positive friends we have accumulated over the years have grown more conservative and less open as a result of parenthood or other factors, or have moved out of the area or have otherwise drifted out of touch.  Without this blog, there would be virtually no public forum for our sexual sides.  Which leads right to the next factor.

We also blog for the social interaction.  This is something that was almost completely unexpected.  In the early days of our blog, the only regular commenters were a handful of the aforementioned sex-positive friends; feedback from other bloggers was very sporadic.  However, it wasn't long after our return before we realized that people were reading us, and for the first time ever, commenting in decent-sized numbers.

Possibly the greatest reason for our blogging as we do currently, i.e. with the sort of shocking regularity that has yielded 233 posts since August 2011 compared to just 124 posts during the previous thirty-five months, is our need to maintain a steady blogging pace in order to ensure that we never again go very long without posting something.  It may seem like a case of quantity versus quality - we've discussed this at length in the past - but we have convinced ourselves that if we stop blogging regularly, we will stop blogging altogether.  Like a shark, we are compelled to keep moving.  Together, we are the Sarah Winchester of the blogosphere.  

Truth be told, we like the pace at which we blog.  It's sometimes difficult, often hectic, and frequently makes us feel like we are once again in college, albeit with the added stress of mortgage payments, full-time employment, and a baby.  But we take pride in knowing that someone is reading what we write, and hopefully enjoying it.  While we'd never consider blogging solely for our audience, the fact that such an audience actually exists, and wants to read what we write, is a major motivator in and of itself.

If you want to ask us anything, drop us a line on Formspring, or use the handy Formspring widget on the right-hand side of our blog.  We like sexy questions!