Flash Fiction Friday: Green

Credit: Source Unknown

Sabrina leaned against her bedroom wall, listening with bitter envy as her twin sister got fucked in the next room.

Sabrina and Katrina did everything together.  They shared a two-bedroom apartment, and even worked at the same café.  This particular afternoon a handsome gentleman walked in and sat in Katrina’s section.  Sabrina watched from across the café as her sister flirted with him, and when she brought the bill Katrina made sure to include her cell phone number.

Now, as their energetic thrusts rattled Sabrina’s bedroom wall, Sabrina acknowledged that it wasn’t her twin’s fault.  She understood chaos theory, and she knew that a slight zephyr might have sent him to Sabrina’s section instead. (114)

-Jack

Behind the Scenes

Once again, Ram the Sunlover is filling in for Panserbjørne this week, and his requirements were a 119-word limit, and the expression "slight zephyr".  As with last week's prompt, I found myself looking up the word "zephyr".  Yes, I'd heard it before, but I had no tangible knowledge as to its meaning.  The word primarily refers to the west wind, or any gentle breeze.  I hadn't yet come up with the chaos theory angle, and I was unsure about the incorporation of the word into the story until I noticed that the two women appeared to be twins.  At that point, I quickly devised the storyline in which one twin laments a potential suitor choosing her sister, and rationalizes that a minor initial change - a slight zephyr, accoridng to Sabrina - their positions might have been reversed.

Deleted Scenes

Given the relatively small word limit, I planned the story to be tight and focused.  In other words, I knew there wouldn't be room for numerous scenes or any in-depth plot or character development.  The only aspect of the story that changed was the circumstances in which Katrina met the handsome gentleman with whom she eventually has sex.  In my earliest concept, the man passes the two sisters on the sidewalk; Katrina happens to be walking in front of Sabrina.  In another concept, the twins are eating lunch in a cafe and the handsome gentleman is their waiter.

Soundtrack

Definitely something to do with envy.  How about "Green is the Colour" by The Coral, or "Hey Jealousy" by Gin Blossoms?