TMI Tuesday: September 25, 2012 - Celebrity Sex-a-thon!

Thank you to Ms. B for submitting this week’s TMI Tuesday questions.

Jack's Answers

1. Who is your closest celebrity look-alike? And, who do you think is sexier, you or the celeb?

Definitely Remy the rat from Ratatouille.  He's sexier, but only because he's voiced by comedian Patton Oswalt.

Short, furry, rat-like:  These words describe me to a "T".

2. Who is the hottest male AND female celebrity you can think of? And, if the opportunity presented itself would you have sex with them?

I have no idea.  Seriously - I'm so far removed from the current pop culture especially as it relates to celebrities that I am hard-pressed to come up with anyone, male or female.  For male, how about the guy who played Thor?  Chicks seem to dig him.  For female, I'll go with Tina Fey because I have a serious thing for smart women and she definitely comes across as smart.  Bear in mind that while I've found her attractive since her SNL debut in 2000, I had to browse a list of female celebrities in order to even think of her.  As for whether I'd have sex with them, Fey yes, Hemsworth no.

3. What celebrity do you fantasize about, but wouldn’t admit it to your friends?

Pope Benedict XVI.  Please don't tell anyone.

Turns out that a strong resemblance to Emperor Palpatine is a big turn-on of mine.  Who knew?

4. Have you ever watched a leaked celebrity sex tape? Who was it or were they and what did you think? What would you have done differently if you were in the video with them?

Yes, I've watched quite a few celebrity sex tapes, as it's often the only thing that could make me care about the celebrity - sorry, "celebrity" - in question.  I am referring specifically to the Paris Hilton sex tape when I say in response to the final part of this question that if I were there I might have jammed something in her mouth in the hopes of shutting her the fuck up.

5. If you are in a relationship, is there anyone your partner knows that you have the ‘hots’ for and they give you the okay to be intimate with? Who would be there’s?

What, like celebrities?  No, we've never made a list of potential celebrities we are okay with the other person having sex with.  We should probably get right on that; we frequently encounter famous A-listers doing their grocery shopping at our local Safeway.

6. If you could have dinner with anyone in the world, who would you choose and what would you give them for dessert?

Questions like these always puzzle me.  I can think of a lot of people, personal heroes and the like, with whom I wouldn't mind having dinner.  Read some of my choices here.  However, given the theme this week I get the sense that this is supposed to be sexual, likely relating to a celebrity, and I just can't think of one.  It's been years since I've had a celebrity crush; I really can't relate to celebrities in a sexual manner and generally speaking I don't know one young starlet from another.  So for the sake of getting through this answer I will say that I'd love to have dinner with many of our sexy blogging/Twitter friends (you know who you are).  My cock will be served for dessert.

Bonus: If you were offered the million dollar indecent proposal, what would your answer be and why?

If you're asking whether I'd let my wife sleep with someone for a million dollars, my answer would be a resounding yes provided she was willing - and for a million bucks I sure as hell hope she would be.  If you're asking whether I would sleep with someone for a million dollars I was ready to say "only if she was female", but for a million dollars I might be open to a little swordfighting.

Especially if I get to be Vader.

Jill's Answers

1. Who is your closest celebrity look-alike? And, who do you think is sexier, you or the celeb?
Does Maureen McCormick from The Brady Bunch count as a celebrity?  I've been told that I bear a passing resemblance to Marcia Brady.  Personally, I think I'm a lot sexier than she is, but Marcia always had that cute "girl next door" look which makes up for it a bit.  Plus my nose is way smaller than hers.

 

Especially after a close encounter with a football.

2. Who is the hottest male AND female celebrity you can think of? And, if the opportunity presented itself would you have sex with them?

The hottest male celebrity is Mark Ruffalo, of course.  His name comes up often on the blog when we're talking about sexy celebrities.  And I've always thought Jennifer Aniston was hot.  I've been a fan since Friends, and have always found her really attractive.  If given the chance, yes, I would have sex with both of them, hopefully at the same time.

3. What celebrity do you fantasize about, but wouldn’t admit it to your friends?

I don't think there are any celebrities I'd be ashamed to admit to fantasizing about, although that depends on the friend in question.  In other words, I don't admit to fantasizing about anyone to many of my friends because it's just not something we talk about.  On the other hand, I have friends with whom I could discuss anything without fear of judgment, and I probably wouldn't hesitate to tell them that I fantasize about the guy in the Chewbacca costume.  Not that I fantasize about him by any means.

 

Nothing personal, Mr. Mayhew.

4. Have you ever watched a leaked celebrity sex tape? Who was it or were they and what did you think? What would you have done differently if you were in the video with them?

I've seen a few celebrity sex tapes.  The first one I ever saw was Paris Hilton's, and I thought it was crappy and hilarious, the sort of unintentional comedy that used to be relegated to cheap horror movies.  I can honestly say that it was the most uninteresting porn film I've ever seen.  If I had been in the video, I definitely wouldn't be having sex with her because I'm not a big fan of crabs.  So I would probably stay on the sidelines and laugh at her insipidness.

5. If you are in a relationship, is there anyone your partner knows that you have the ‘hots’ for and they give you the okay to be intimate with? Who would be there’s?

We know about couples who have a list of celebrities who are fair game, but we've never done that.  We aren't big fans of celebrities in general and probably couldn't name enough to populate such a list.  Also, we never saw the point of penning a list full of people we'll probably never meet and instead keep lists of people from our social circle who we'd like to have sex with.  Having said that, I'm sure that Jack would let me sleep with any of my celebrity crushes, especially if they were female and he got to watch, and eventually join in.

6. If you could have dinner with anyone in the world, who would you choose and what would you give them for dessert?

My ideal dining companion would be my longest-running celebrity crush Harrison Ford, who so captivated me during my childhood in the 1980s and continues to do so despite the fact that I haven't seen anything he's done lately.  Dessert would be me, obviously.  I considered drizzling myself in chocolate first, but I'm pretty sure I'm sweet enough.

Bonus: If you were offered the million dollar indecent proposal, what would your answer be and why?

If Jack was okay with it, of course I would.  I'm a teacher, and we don't get paid jack shit.

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