Formspring Friday: How to Turn Us On (and Off)

If you're looking for our Flash Fiction Friday, it can be found here.

What’s the biggest turn on and turn off in the opposite sex? Same sex? 

Jack's Answer

For me, the biggest turn-on about a member of the opposite sex is a really nice ass.  While the first thing I notice in a woman (as well as the thing I will spend most of my time looking at) is the face, the aspect of a woman that excites me the most is her ass.  I know I've claimed to value intelligence, open-mindedness, and personality above all else, and I really do appreciate these things.  But a shapely ass is definitely my biggest turn-on, at least physically.  I'd like to state explicitly that I am not turned off by a woman with a less-shapely ass, nor would I find the prospect of doggy style sex with such a woman unpleasant in the least.

The thing that most turns me off in a member of the opposite sex is actually several internal factors, including negative attitude, ignorance, lack of personality, and bigotry or prejudice.  When it comes to physical attraction there are countless variations that I find appealing.  I can't think of anything in the physical realm that is a deal-breaker for me.  However, a woman who brings to the table the aforementioned internal factors will be hard-pressed to hold my interest long enough for sex to occur.  I wish I could say that I have never dated or slept with a woman who suffered from this particular affliction, but I most certainly have.  However, I usually didn't respect myself for it afterwards.

As for what turns me on most in a member of my own sex, this is a difficult question to answer.  I identify as straight, and thus I don't usually think of men as being able to turn me on.  I spent some time pondering this question, really thinking critically, in the hopes of coming up with an honest and interesting answer.  Speaking from a non-sexual viewpoint, I find men easiest to get along with if we share an appreciation for similar things, including the same types of entertainment, and geek culture in general.  Ideally we should have things in common, and be able to talk about various issues over a couple pints.  That is not to say that we must have the exact same views on the issues; I have friends who are politically and spiritually quite different from myself, and we get along well.

The biggest turn-off in a man is the exact same as it is in a woman, in particular willful ignorance.  Moreso than when I was younger, I find it hard to be friends with someone I don't respect, and I can't respect someone who adopts the herd mentality and refuses to think for himself.  Surrounding myself with ignorant friends might make me the Alpha of our group, but I don't value Alpha status enough to seek out the ignorant for the purposes of friendship.

Jill's Answer

The thing that turns me on the most in men is the face, especially eyes and smile.  I am attracted to men who have sexy eyes and a confident smile.  If they make eye contact with me and smile when we talk, they come off as genuine and honest.  It makes me feel good to be in the presence of men like this.  Bonus points if they have cute little dimples.

The biggest turn-off for me in a man is bad hygiene, especially bad breath and body odor.  I don't care how cute or charming a guy is, if he stinks I will never find him attractive.  (I also feel this way about women, but in women it's not the biggest turn-off for me.)  The opposite is also true:  A man who smells really good will probably turn me on because of it.

As with men, the biggest turn-on for me in a woman is also their faces.  I love a woman with pretty eyes and a sexy smile.  But if I have to come up with a unique answer, I will say breasts.  It doesn't matter how big they are, or what size, shape, or firmness.  I just like breasts.  They are so much fun to look at and touch.

The thing that turns me off the most in women is cattiness.  I'm not talking about bitchiness.  When I think "bitchy" I think of women who are strong-willed, and who stand up for themselves and speak their minds.  People usually call this kind of woman bitchy, but I respect them for their strength.  I'm talking about women who are malicious and underhanded, and who are out to hurt others.  I can't be friends with this kind of person, let alone be turned on by them.

If you want to ask us anything, drop us a line on Formspring, or use the handy Formspring widget on the right-hand side of our blog.  We like sexy questions!