Friday, November 16, 2012

Flash Fiction Friday: The Agony of Defeat



CRACK!

The ball soared into the air and the batter ran down the baseline.  She crossed first base and headed for second as the runner on third slid home.  The stands roared to life with cheers as the scoreboard lit up in celebration.

She ran as though her very life was at stake, even as the ball plummeted back to earth.  As she reached third it crashed into an outfielder’s mitt and the umpire called the final out.  The Honeybees won, seven to six.

It was considered good manners for Little League teams to form a line, and for each player to exchange a handshake with, and say, “Good game” to, each member of the opposition.  Although the losing team seldom agreed, for the winners it was an opportunity to display a semblance of respect for their opponents.

But this wasn’t Little League.  The Pussycats returned to their dugout, some players stripping off their clothes before they’d even left the field.  The spectators crowded at the railings, some rushing down the steps to get a better look.

When all the members of the losing team were naked, the Honeybees formed a line and filed through the Pussycats’ dugout.  Each player’s hand connected with the backsides of her opponents.

Each repetition of “We won” was accompanied by a hard, stinging slap. (220/231)

Behind the Scenes

I didn't even look at this week's Flash Fiction Friday challenge until Thursday morning, and I didn't attempt to write it until fairly late Thursday evening.  I hadn't given the prompt much thought beyond some sort of spanking (or doggy style) lineup; it was Jill who came up with the softball game premise.

Beyond the 231-word maximum (of which I initially thought I'd fall far short but actually ended up exceeding), the other requirement was inclusion of the word "...semblance..."  As is typical, I completely forgot about it until I was around halfway done with the story and quickly inserted it into the third paragraph.

I was unsure whether anyone would understand the reference to two Little League teams exchanging "good game"s and handshakes (usually a glorified low-five when I was a kid).  If you didn't participate in Little League or have never been to a game, you can see an example of this practice in Richard Linklater's 1993 film Dazed and Confused.

Deleted Scenes

There weren't any deleted scenes this week.  As I mentioned above, I was initially worried that my story would end up less than two hundred words long, and while that's technically allowed, I felt the need to pad the story with a superfluous word here and there.  I wasn't finished when I realized I had exceeded the limit by more than ten words, and I had to go back and clean up some of my purple prose.  Nothing particularly substantial, and certainly nothing with any real bearing on the story, ended up getting cut.

Soundtrack

It's gotta be Queen's We Are the Champions.

5 comments:

Mind Of Mine said...

Reading it while humming 'We Are The Champions'

WIN!

Red Shoes said...

I would argue that it was difficult to read due to that photo of backsides up above it.. :oD

YUM!!!!!

~shoes~

Word said...

That was a great sports take. I love the 'shake hands exchange' as well. Lots of school sports do that too, so I got the reference.

Very good play there J & J.

Katia said...

Good to know "atta boys" go beyond football. Nice piece.

Anonymous said...

LOL! I love the softball game take on this photo. Kudos to both of you!

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