TMI Tuesday: January 10, 2012

****MATURE CONTENT: This post is for adults only. Visit another Tuesday when things aren’t so sexy, if you are uncomfortable with sexuality.****

[Obviously the above copy is from the TMI Tuesday blog, and not ours.  This whole blog is for adults only.  If you are uncomfortable with sexuality, you probably aren't reading this.]

Today’s TMI Tuesday was inspired by my friends at Infidelity Chronicles.

All about the wedding tackle, twig & berries, pole, fire hose, skin flute, dipstick, meat thermometer or what we all know as the penis.

Jack's Answers

1. What’s more important – length or width? Why?

Having never been on the receiving end, I will apply my answer to vaginas rather than penii.  In my opinion length or width, while important, vary from person to person.  Ultimately what matters is that it be able to accomodate what I'm trying to fit inside, whether it's my cock, my fist, a twelve-inch latex dildo, or a brick of heroin that I need to smuggle through customs.

2. Ever encountered one that was too big for you to handle?

I'm not in the habit of handling (or even encountering) penii, other than my own.  And while mine is sufficient to get the job done, it's certainly not the sort of thing for which I require a spotter.

3. Best place to put a penis?

My favorite place to put my penis is inside of a vagina (specifically Jill's, though I'm not the sort to knock the vaginas of others).  I also really enjoy putting my penis into a mouth, while an ass and a hand are very cozy places for it as well.

4. If you had a penis for a day, what would you do with it?

As this week's TMI Tuesday seems to be aimed mainly at women, I took this question to mean that I only had my penis for a single day.  Were that the case, I would miss it for the rest of my life.

Penis Envy: Largest penis in the animal kingdom is 11 feet (blue whale)

Moby and Carl's romance was frowned upon by both of their families.

5. You’re a penis, which love canal (that’s a vagina) would you most like to visit:

a. short and shallow

b. fall into the gap, gliding smoothly along the slick walls

c. tight suction lip-lock

d. none, I prefer the back door thank you

Option "A" probably wouldn't be the best match for me, and I'm not sure what Option "B" means, exactly.  Based on the specific wording it sounds like I'm trying to navigate a sewer tunnel in the dark and I tripped.  So I'll go with Option "C".

Bonus: What is the perfect name for your penis or a penis you use often?

I've never named my penis.  I've always found the idea of naming sex parts a bit unnecessary, much like using flavored body lotion or lube.  I don't need anything nonsexual to distract me from what's happening; if I'm eating pussy I don't want it to taste like strawberries.  If someone's worshipping my cock, there's no reason to call it lovable furry old Grover.  An old girlfriend once came up with a silly name for my penis which has fortunately been lost to time.  Of course, if I was forced to refer to my penis by some sort of amusing name, I'd go with Chewbacca.  Like the famous Wookiee, my penis is intimidating, hairy, and has been known to rip people's arms out of their sockets when angry.

The above isn't even one of the top five geekiest things I've written here.

World Penis Size Map: Where would you like to visit? click

Based on the information at the link, I'll go with Thailand, where I would be considered a god.

Jill's Answers

1. What’s more important – length or width? Why?

I'd love to answer both, because I do enjoy length and width.  I've been with guys who were wide, as well as guys who were long, and I've been with guys who were both.  Of course, neither length nor width matter if he doesn't know how to use what he's got.  If I absolutely had to choose one or the other, I would go with width, because to me there's nothing like that feeling of being filled so completely.

2. Ever encountered one that was too big for you to handle?

I've never encountered one that was too big for me to handle, but I have encountered a guy who decided to stick it in my ass without warning or lube.  So it wasn't an issue of size, it was an issue of user error.

3. Best place to put a penis?

That's a tough one, because I don't have a penis, and I can't answer this from the perspective of the owner.  As the recipient, though, I would probably say in my vagina, although I love having a penis in my mouth and my ass as well.

4. If you had a penis for a day, what would you do with it?

If I only had it for one day, I would go crazy trying to stick it in as many orifices as possible.  That might sound crazy, but I've only got it for the day, and I want to experience as many pussies, mouths and asses as I could.  Also, I would like to see what it's like to pee standing up. [Editor's note:  While reading the last part of her answer to me, Jill stood up, and mimed firing a crotch-level machine gun, complete with sound effects.]

Penis Envy: Largest penis in the animal kingdom is 11 feet (blue whale)

In the animal kingdom gym locker room, elephants won't get undressed if there are blue whales present.

5. You’re a penis, which love canal (that’s a vagina) would you most like to visit:
a. short and shallow
b. fall into the gap, gliding smoothly along the slick walls
c. tight suction lip-lock
d. none, I prefer the back door thank you
Tight suction lip-lock sounds really good.  I don't know if I would like "short and shallow", because if I was a penis I'd probably be on the large side and I would want to be able to get all the way in.  I'm not really sure what "fall into the gap..." means, maybe because I don't have a penis and I've never done that before, so that's out.  And while I would probably try the back door, I prefer pussy so that would be my first priority if I was a penis.  So I would go with the suction cup, or whatever the hell it was.

Bonus: What is the perfect name for your penis or a penis you use often?
For some reason The Love Machine keeps coming up.  That sounds very seventies.

World Penis Size Map: Where would you like to visit? click

Well, definitely not Thailand.  Nothing against the Thai people, but if I'm traveling for sexual purposes I would rather go somewhere on the larger side.  I'd probably go to Italy or Greece, because Mediterranean men turn me on.

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

We will leave you with this Monty Python classic: