TMI Tuesday - Fat Tuesday Edition

Jack's Answers

1. Have you had sex with another person in 2010? Have you passed on an opportunity to [have] sex with another person in 2010?
Yes, with Jill. I have not yet had the opportunity to have sex with anyone else in 2010; therefore I've not passed on such an opportunity, but I was the recipient of one of the most overt pick-up lines imaginable one week ago (see #4, below, for details).

2. What is the funniest thing you have ever said or done during sex? (Orgasmic facial expressions do not count.)
Years ago, I was having sex with a young lady I'd been dating for awhile. She was really into dirty talk, and quite good at it besides. While I was telling her the story of a very tawdry hotel tryst I'd enjoyed in my past, she was asking me leading questions: "Did she suck your cock?" "Did she make you come?" "Did you make her wet?" "Did you fuck her from behind?" Eventually, she asked if I made her moan. I wasn't in any way annoyed by this line of questioning, nor did I find it comical and/or want it to end. In fact, I was quite into it. So I'm not entirely sure why, upon being asked this last question, I decided to make a joke out of the whole thing, devising a scenario in which I physically forced the one-night stand of my story to, yes, moan - I believe my actual dialogue was, "Moan, damn you, moan!" - as the young lady cowered in a corner of the room. Of course, the woman I was relating the story to found herself laughing uncontrollably, and we had to take a break.

3. What is the first thing you notice about a member of the opposite sex?
I wish I was the typical guy for this one; while I do notice a woman's body pretty quickly, it's not the first thing I notice. Typically I notice her face first, and by that I mean the face in its entirety: Fullness of the lips, brightness of the eyes, color of the cheeks, and all the other poetry cliches.

4. What is the best pick-up line you have ever heard? Every [sic] used? Ever been used on you?
Though I like to think of myself as being above tired pick-up lines, there were times during my single years when they were a necessity. I have always considered the ideal pick-up line to be either completely genuine, or else so out-of-left-field that the recipient can't help but take notice. (The effectiveness depends on the mindset of the intended recipient.) It's rare that I find myself on the receiving end of a pick-up line, though last week I found myself in the checkout line of a local grocery store purchasing several pounds of pork roast when the woman behind me leaned over and whispered, "I love to eat pork." Usually I am pretty good at flirting, though this time I confess to being taken so aback that I mumbled a completely inane response that killed whatever aura of mystery that may have led the young lady to engage me. As for my own pick-up lines, I have had moderate success approaching a woman at a bar and informing her that she dropped something. When she asks what she dropped, I would reply, "My jaw," and offer to buy her a drink. Bear in mind, we're only talking moderate success.

5. Where is the most unique [place] you have ever had sex?
Since most of the out-of-the-ordinary places I've had sex are far from unique, I'm going to go with a child's treehouse (the child being the little brother of a girl I was dating) on the Fourth of July. The fireworks definitely made it more exciting.

Bonus (as in optional): Do you pee in the shower? If so, has any SO known that you pee in the shower? Has any SO peed in the shower?
Yes I do, but I aim for the drain. I'm not sure if Jill knows (I don't usually pee when we're in the shower together), but she will as soon as I post this. I have no clue whether my SOs (past or present) were shower-urinators.

Jill's Answers

1. Have you had sex with another person in 2010? Have you passed on an opportunity to [have] sex with another person in 2010?
Yes (Jack) and no.

2. What is the funniest thing you have ever said or done during sex? (Orgasmic facial expressions do not count.)
I really can't think of anything! I'm sure there is something funny that I have done or said during sex, possibly while drunk, but I have no recollection. If I think of anything, I will post it!

3. What is the first thing you notice about a member of the opposite sex?
His eyes.

4. What is the best pick-up line you have ever heard? Every [sic] used? Ever been used on you?
I'm not really the kind of person to use pick-up lines, but I have heard more than my share, and most of those have been used on me. Some even worked. One of the best I have ever heard was, "If I had a dime for every time I saw someone as pretty as you I'd have a dime." One of the corniest ones was, "Just call me Fred Flintstone, because I can make your bed rock!" An old boyfriend's roommate once tried to come onto me by saying that he was about to retire to his bedroom to masturbate, and did I mind if he fantasized about me while he did. I didn't sleep with him, obviously, but I was flattered and I told him he didn't need my permission to fantasize. Jack told me later that he probably wanted me to explicitly give him permission, and that he was hoping - if I wouldn't sleep with him - that I would show an interest in his solo activities.

5. Where is the most unique [place] you have ever had sex?
On top of the slide at a local park.

Bonus (as in optional): Do you pee in the shower? If so, has any SO known that you pee in the shower? Has any SO peed in the shower?
Yes I have, he knows now, and probably.