A Belated Halloween Entry

Has the Vampire craze gone too far? Perhaps.

Now available from adult novelty manufacturer Fleshlight, purveyors of anatomically correct "masturbation sleeves" comes the Succu Dry, pictured below.

According to the manufacturer's website:

Introducing Succu Dry Sex in a Can from Fleshlight, the world’s first vampire inspired sex toy for men. Take a walk on the dark side and get familiar with this pale brew. But be careful! Though this may feel like love at first bite, make sure you have wood poised to penetrate before you get completely drained! Enjoy to excess to ensure encounters with Succu Dry are A-Positive experience.

Succu Dry’s unique Vampire mouth opening isn’t for the faint of heart. This exclusive Undead pale sleeve color is made from the same patented Real Feel Super Skin material that’s made Fleshlight the #1 selling male sex toy in the world. The amazingly detailed vampire mouth and fangs beg you to drive your wooden stake deep inside.

To ensure an experience all its own, Fleshlight developed a brand new inner texture for the Succu Dry called “The Fang.” This intensely stimulating texture has dozens of tiny fangs that will gently bite at you until you’re drained of every last drop. Quench your lust and prepare for the ultimate vampire fantasy, but beware, this can will suck you dry!

Though the appeal of oral sex from a vampire eludes me personally - sharp fangs plus my penis equals more anxiety than ecstasy - the recent ascension of the vampire from time-tested movie monster to flat-out pop cultural icon means that the once-marginalized segment of the populace that fetishizes vampires is now much greater, and in the open. Fansites and blogs dedicated to "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and "Angel" slash fiction have proliferated since the inception of both series. Pre-teens swoon over the characters of Stephanie Meyer's "Twilight" novels and films as though they were the Beatles. And the HBO original series True Blood has given viewers unfettered access to Academy Award-winner Anna Paquin's breasts.

But the question remains: Is the Succu Dry worth the $44.95 for which it retails at Fleshlight's Website? Surprisingly, a glance at said website reveals the Succu Dry to be significantly less expensive (as of this writing) than any of the other "Fleshlight Originals" they sell, at $64.95 each. In the off chance that anyone here has actually tried this thing, we'd love to hear about your experience. Specifically, did the fact that the Succu Dry has fangs make it any better than a standard Fleshlight?

-Jack