2009 in Review, or 5 Things That Turned Us On This Year

Jack's List:

1. Occasional fondly-remembered webcam fun with our friends Vincent Vega and Mia Wallace early in the year.

2. With her pregnancy, Jill's breasts have increased in size from plump-but-modest to mammoth.

3. Jessica Biel's nude scenes in Powder Blue. What can I say? I've been waiting for her to disrobe on camera for years.

4. Porn and Pizza Rolls may not have the same ring as Porn and Pizza, but as of now it's the closest we've come to resuming our 2006 party series.

5. Performing for a male friend of ours was really exciting, moreso than I had expected. Obviously being naked and erect in the same room as another man but not another woman isn't really my preferred exhibitionism scenario, but both Jill and I found the situation hot. (Story is forthcoming. Hopefully.)

Jill's List:

1. While watching porn with Jack and a male friend at one of our post-Christmas Porn and Pizza Roll parties (see Jack's #4, above), I experienced a sudden and overwhelming urge to have an orgasm. I discretely excused myself to the bathroom and had one of the most intense self-induced orgasms I can remember. Our male friend's wife was at work, or I might have thrown caution to the wind right there on their sofa.

2. Visiting an adult video or toy store is always fun, but visiting several of them with open-minded close friends is even more fun!

3. For Christmas, Jack bought me Peep Show: Tales of Voyeurs and Exhibitionists, an erotic anthology edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel. I haven't read it yet, but I'm excited about it. Hopefully it's as hot as Caught Looking and Hide and Seek.

4. The Hummingbird Jack bought me at Babeland. In the three days since I got it, it's provided us with hours of fun, and me with many great orgasms.

5. On her podcast Open Source Sex, Violet Blue read a story called Shift Change by an author named Emerald. It's from Best Women's Erotica 2010, and if the story is representative of the book as a whole, it must be the best volume yet. We listened to Shift Change on Christmas Eve, on the same stretch of highway where we listened to Central Registry several months before. Very sexy and exciting!

Happy New Year!

The Only Sex Toy You'll Ever Need, or A Christmas Gift Idea

I'd love to say that we have integrity. I'd love to say that this blog is not for sale. I'd love to say that we are incapable of being bought, of caving to special interests, of endorsing an inferior product in exchange for pay. I'd love to say these things, but in these uncertain economic times I cannot, with one hundred percent certainty, say any of them. Well, that's not entirely true. I'm pretty sure that we do in fact have integrity; unfortunately the notion that we aren't for sale is one about which I'm much more uncertain.

Though I am not sure that we would never endorse an inferior product in exchange for pay, we will now endorse a superior one for absolutely no remuneration whatsoever. That superior product is the Eroscillator, and we believe that it's the only sex toy you will ever need. Yes, we realize that it's way too late in the season to be giving out Christmas recommendations. And we realize that we certainly do use other sex toys in our collection, though none as frequently as the Eroscillator. And we realize that at a suggested retail price of $127.95 for the most basic package (the Eroscillator and three attachments) all the way up to $240.90 for the Eroscillator and all seven available attachments, this isn't a toy for a masturbator with a budget. However, in the three years since we've owned an Eroscillator, it has provided us with countless hours of fun, and more orgasms than any single toy should be capable of. Though probably not the priciest sex toy available for purchase, we can't imagine getting any more use, and indeed enjoyment, out of anything we own.

The Eroscillator is billed as "the only vibrator ever recommended by Dr. Ruth Westheimer." It promises "powerful but gentle stimulation" leading to "earth-shattering explosions", and in our experience it delivers. Powerful enough to be used for solo masturbation, but equally useful when having sex with a partner, over the last three years the Eroscillator may very well have revolutionized our already-spectacular sex life.

Buying an Eroscillator? May we also suggest a Fascinator Throe by Liberator? They come in handy, especially in conjunction with the aforementioned sex toy, when used by a woman prone to ejaculation.