Week Twenty-Two

Jill and I are expecting our first child. She is well into her second trimester and all appears to be going as expected.

One thing that I was not expecting, however, is my wife's increased level of libido. Certainly our sex life was not lacking before we conceived our child. Now, however, it's gone off the charts, not only in terms of frequency but also with regard to the variety of activities we've been enjoying and the locations in which we've been enjoying them. I know that, not very long ago, I bemoaned the fact that Jill's use of fantasy seemed to have taken a backseat to her use of porn, but I was probably complaining prematurely. Yes, we'd briefly fallen into the habit of watching porn for the purpose of speeding things up and getting us where we needed to go, but it was short-lived. We've been having more sex than before, for longer periods of time. I don't know if the pregnancy has something to do with this, but I'm not complaining.

In researching this phenomenon I found that, during the first trimester, it's not uncommon for sex to take a backseat as the new parents-to-be adjust to the reality of the pregnancy, and the mother-to-be deals with physical concerns such as fatigue and morning sickness. We experienced none of this. And though we were having fairly regular sex during the first trimester, it's nothing compared to the barrage of amazing lovemaking we've been experiencing since the second trimester began a couple months ago. And as stated above, it's not just the frequency, but the quality. There seems to be even more passion, more excitement. Best of all, Jill seems to be initiating it just as much - if not moreso - than I do.

We spent Thanksgiving weekend at Jill's parents' house. On Wednesday night, I retired to bed and did a little reading, while Jill stayed downstairs for awhile, talking to her siblings. I'd been reading for about forty-five minutes when Jill came into our room, stripped, and gave me a blowjob. Then she rode me until we both came. Not satisfied with her orgasm, she managed three more before we switched positions and I came again. Though I was ecstatic over my wife's rocket-propelled sex drive, I was also exhausted, and fell asleep.

I woke at six o'clock Thanksgiving morning to the low buzz of Jill's Eroscillator. Intrigued, I moved closer and began to service her orally. Her orgasm overtook her and she had to stifle herself with a pillow to keep from breaking the early morning silence. When she'd returned to earth, she got on her hands and knees and exhorted me to enter her. It didn't take much persuasion, and we had sex for the next forty-five minutes, very quietly. When I came, I buried my face in her shoulder to keep from moaning, and we collapsed onto the mattress. Jill lay on her stomach for a moment, then with an amused tone said, "Baby's awake." Our child can sleep soundly through an hour of lovemaking, but wakes - and kicks - whenever my wife lies prone.

We behaved similarly throughout the weekend. It's easy to excuse ourselves to the guest room for "a nap", since pregnancy causes frequent fatigue in some women. Jill does feel more tired than she did before getting pregnant, but based on the number of naps we take when we stay at her parents' house, they must think we're narcoleptics. All told, we had sex seven times in four and a half days which, although not a record, isn't something we've done lately. We had sex in at least eight positions (not counting sixty-nine) and had more orgasms than either of us could count, all hopefully without alerting anyone else in the house to what was going on.

I'm excited about becoming a father. But until the baby is born, it looks like I'll have plenty of other things to be excited about.

-Jack

A Belated Halloween Entry

Has the Vampire craze gone too far? Perhaps.

Now available from adult novelty manufacturer Fleshlight, purveyors of anatomically correct "masturbation sleeves" comes the Succu Dry, pictured below.

According to the manufacturer's website:

Introducing Succu Dry Sex in a Can from Fleshlight, the world’s first vampire inspired sex toy for men. Take a walk on the dark side and get familiar with this pale brew. But be careful! Though this may feel like love at first bite, make sure you have wood poised to penetrate before you get completely drained! Enjoy to excess to ensure encounters with Succu Dry are A-Positive experience.

Succu Dry’s unique Vampire mouth opening isn’t for the faint of heart. This exclusive Undead pale sleeve color is made from the same patented Real Feel Super Skin material that’s made Fleshlight the #1 selling male sex toy in the world. The amazingly detailed vampire mouth and fangs beg you to drive your wooden stake deep inside.

To ensure an experience all its own, Fleshlight developed a brand new inner texture for the Succu Dry called “The Fang.” This intensely stimulating texture has dozens of tiny fangs that will gently bite at you until you’re drained of every last drop. Quench your lust and prepare for the ultimate vampire fantasy, but beware, this can will suck you dry!

Though the appeal of oral sex from a vampire eludes me personally - sharp fangs plus my penis equals more anxiety than ecstasy - the recent ascension of the vampire from time-tested movie monster to flat-out pop cultural icon means that the once-marginalized segment of the populace that fetishizes vampires is now much greater, and in the open. Fansites and blogs dedicated to "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and "Angel" slash fiction have proliferated since the inception of both series. Pre-teens swoon over the characters of Stephanie Meyer's "Twilight" novels and films as though they were the Beatles. And the HBO original series True Blood has given viewers unfettered access to Academy Award-winner Anna Paquin's breasts.

But the question remains: Is the Succu Dry worth the $44.95 for which it retails at Fleshlight's Website? Surprisingly, a glance at said website reveals the Succu Dry to be significantly less expensive (as of this writing) than any of the other "Fleshlight Originals" they sell, at $64.95 each. In the off chance that anyone here has actually tried this thing, we'd love to hear about your experience. Specifically, did the fact that the Succu Dry has fangs make it any better than a standard Fleshlight?

-Jack