The Rabbit Trick, and an Apology

First, we would like to apologize for the shortage of entries this month. Although life has been very hectic, there is no real reason for how little we have posted lately. Obviously we are having as much sex as we ever did, if not more, so there is no problem there. But we knew there was no way we could keep up with posting twelve entries a month and not have the blog seem forced, if it doesn't already. So we decided not to try and post a set number of entries every month, but instead post whenever the mood hit us.

With that out of the way, I thought I would talk about a new bit of sleng that Jack and I coined last week, the Rabbit Trick. For the last couple years, when I give Jack oral he is usually either lying down on the bed, or else standing up. That is not to say that those are the only positions I give him blowjobs in, but those are probably the most frequent. So he usually comes quicker in these positions than he does when he is sitting. But lately we have been talking about having another porn and pizza party, and if oral sex is involved, I would like to be able to put on a good show. So lately I have been giving Jack a lot of blowjobs with him sitting down, in order to re-acclimate him to the position so he will be more receptive to my hard work.

Earlier this week, while tending to Jack as he sat on the couch, I began feeling very aroused, and I went into the bedroom to get a toy, stripping naked on the way. As I have mentioned, I most frequently use my Eroscillator. It's such a sure-fire way to quick and satisfying climaxes. But instead, I decided on the Rabbit that Jack bought me. I do enjoy riding it while giving Jack oral, and typically the different sensations - the way he tastes, his throbbing between my lips, the feel of the toy inside me and on my clit - lead to amazing orgasms. And not just mine!

I returned to the living room, my beautiful purple toy in hand. Jack sat on the couch, naked and hard. "You going to do the rabbit trick?" he asked. Without answering, I knelt down in front of him, and placed the toy beneath me so that it was close to my pussy. I turned it on, and it returned the favor, the ears of the rabbit vibrating rapidly against me as the thick, bulbous head slipped inside. I was already wet, and I could tell it wouldn't be long before I came. I didn't know, however, that it would take Jack the same amount of time.

As we recovered from unexpected but exciting simultanous orgasms, I eyed the rabbit, lying on the floor near my feet. Jack's name for what I'd just done lingered in my mind: The Rabbit Trick. Very catchy!

Jill's Sex Quote of the Day: "Confidence is the sexiest thing a woman can have. It's much sexier than any body part." (Actress, athlete and model Aimee Mullins, whose legs were amputated below the knees when she was a year old)

Jill

101 Places to Have Sex Before You Die

101 Places to Have Sex Before You Die

(Thanks to Mia Wallace for the suggestion!)

For Christmas, I bought Jill a book entitled "101 Places to Have Sex Before You Die." It reads much like other guidebooks such as "1000 Places to See Before You Die" and "1001 Foods You Must Taste Before You Die", listing various locations both usual and unusual, in which sex can truly be considered an achievement. To be fair, there were only 100 places, as the 101st place was left blank for the reader to fill in.

As we read the book, we were surprised to learn that we've already done the deed in a few of the suggested locations. That's not to say that we couldn't stand to add to our repertoire, but for now I don't think we have cause to feel like our sex life is in any way boring or redundant.

Without further ado, here's the list:

1. The Beach: I've never had sex on the beach - aside from the drink - but Jill has. According to her, it was just oral sex, but I say that still counts!
2. Floating Dock: The book promoted this one as a perfect spot for horny camp counselors to get it on. Neither of us have ever done it on a floating dock, but there is one at the lake where we take family camping trips, and I'd be lying if I said that it isn't a frequent fantasy of ours.
3. Halloween Party: Already reported in our Friday, October 31st entry entitled "A Scare-ifying Halloween Story." Not exactly having sex, but what the hell.
4. Baseball Dugout: No
5. The Car Hood: No
6. The Drive-In: Yes! This is a recent addition to our repertoire. Not wanting to miss the opportunity to have sex at our region's last operating drive-in the way we missed the opportunity to fool around at our region's last operating porn theater, we took action and remedied the situation.
7. The Drive-Thru: Okay, this one I just plain don't get. Is there really enough appeal to having sex while getting take-out food to merit its inclusion in this list? I'm not sure I see myself able to steer the car through the drive-thru lane, as well as order, pay for, and receive my food, all the while trying to complete the act of love and not get arrested for public indecency. That being said, Jill once gave me a handjob while I was driving to, and driving-thru, a local Taco Bell, stopping just long enough for me to actually get our food.
8. The Airplane Bathroom: You just knew this one was going to make the list. While Jill and I are not members of the Mile-High Club in the truest sense of the term, we did once have some fun with each other right in our seats during a transatlantic flight. There was no actual penetration, but we did both get off.
9. The Dressing Room: No
10. The Confession Booth: Nope. My wife's too Catholic for this one.
11. The Office: Jill hasn't held too many office jobs in her life, but I have. And yes, I've had sex in most of the offices I've worked in. It's a good thing none of my bosses know who I am.
12. The Copy Machine: No
13. The Boss' Desk: See #11
14. The Zoo: No
15. Vegas Penthouse: No
16. On Camera: Yes
17. Marriage Counselor's Office: No
18. The Kitchen Floor: Yes, as well as the table, and the edge of the counter, which is a fun place for cunnilingus, provided the surface isn't too cold.
19. National Monuments: No
20. Hospital Room: No, though I once dated someone who worked at a hospital, and we had sex in one of the public bathrooms.
21. Waterfall: No
22. The Ski Lift: No
23. Elevator: When we lived in a building that had an elevator, we would occasionally have oral sex in it. Sometimes we would ride the elevator late at night and go down on each other, just out of range of the camera, listening for the familiar ring of the call button. Additionally, we did this once in the middle of the afternoon. The thrill of possible discovery made it very exciting.
24. Sauna/Steam Room: No
25. Hot Tub: Yes
26. On Top of the Washing Machine: Yes. And for the record, spin cycle is just as exciting as you've heard.
27. In Front of a Fire: Yes
28. Stairs: Yes
29. Taxi: No
30. House Under Construction: No
31. Limousine: Yes. On the morning of our wedding, we took a limo ride to a scenic spot to get some pictures, and our photographer rode with us. While he was out of earshot I told Jill that if we'd been alone we could have had sex in the limo. I was only half-joking, but it didn't matter since there was no way my wife-to-be was going to risk wrinkling her dress or smudging her makeup. It was okay; there'd be plenty of opportunity for sex later, when we didn't have to worry about our appearance. A week later we left for our honeymoon, making a stop to stay the night with some of my extended family out of town. When we arrived at the airport, my relatives sent a limo to pick us up, and the rest is history.
32. Photo Booth: We've thought about this one, but thanks to digital technology, virtually every photo booth has a screen on the outside to display what's going on inside.
33. House of Mirrors: No
34. Phone Sex: Yes
35. Shower: Yes
36. Camping: Yes
37. Alley: No
38. Internet Hookup: Technically, Jill and I are an internet hookup. So I guess that counts.
39. Webcam: Yes
40. Second Life: No
41. Chair: Yes
42. Gym: No
43. Supply Closet: No
44. Safari: No
45. Adult Bookstore: No
46. Car Wash: No
47. The Grotto at the Playboy Mansion: No
48. Boat: Yes
49. Pilates Studio: No
50. Wedding: No
51. In-Laws' House Over the Holidays: Yes (both sets of in-laws)
52. Museum: No
53. Office Christmas Party: No
54. Movie Theater: When I was nineteen or twenty, I got the briefest of handjobs (no ejaculation) in a movie theater. No one saw us. If we could find an operating adult theater, we'd try for oral.
55. Bathroom at a Club: No
56. Hourly Rate Motel: Yes (both in separate relationships)
57. Baseball Stadium: No
58. Neighbor's House: No
59. Concert: No
60. High School Football Field: No
61. Open House: No
62. Fire Escape: No
63. Inflatable Boat: No
64. Motorcycle: No
65. Under the Boardwalk: No
66. Apple Orchard: No
67. Horse: No
68. Snowdrift: No
69. Central Park: Jill's had sex at Central Park. No, not the one in New York. In the town where she grew up, there is a large park called, yes, Central Park, and she had sex there. So I'm going to say that counts.
70, Phone Booth: No - do these still exist?
71. Cemetery: No
72. Trampoline: No
73. Pirates of the Mediterranean Ride, Big Thunder Mount Me Railroad, It's a Hard World After All: Clearly there was some sort of legal issue with the use of actual theme park ride names. And although we do spend some time at certain parks, we've never gotten it on at one. In fact, we were once warned by a Disneyland employee that even the darkest spots in their rides are under constant surveillance, and were we to get nasty we would have an audience. That probably wouldn't have been a deterrent in and of itself, but getting ejected from the park probably would have.
74. Mardi Gras: No
75. Golf Course: No
76. Underground Garage: We would frequently have sex in the garage underneath Jill's building. This provided us with one of our earliest exhibitionist thrills as a couple. We'd take a blanket or two in case anyone passed - her space was right next to the elevator - and have some of the hottest sex imaginable. In fact, the first time we tried this we were returning from a party late at night. We were both tired and a little drunk, but we were also both horny as hell, and we knew that if we went upstairs we would make a clumsy attempt at sex and then pass out. Instead we did it right there in the car, and had a great time.
77. Hot-Air Balloon: No
78. Pool: Yes
79. Hayloft: No
80. Childhood Bedroom: Yes, both Jill's and my own.
81. Big Box Store: No
82. Video Arcade: No
83. Tree House: An ex-girlfriend of mine lived in a home with a treehouse in the yard, ostensibly for her younger brother. So that's a yes for me.
84. Playground: See # 69
85. Roller Coaster: No
86. Corn Maze: I thought corn and maize were the same thing. Anyway, no.
87. Ferris Wheel: No
88. Ferries: No
89. Horse-Drawn Carriage in Central Park: No
90. Rooftop: No
91. Kayak: No
92. Library Stacks: No
93. Box at the Opera: No
94. Hammock: Yes, although to be honest it was a free-standing hammock with an aluminum frame, not a Gilligan's Island style hammock that you tie to two trees. As difficult as it was to balance in the free-standing hammock, I can't imagine trying to do it in the other kind.
95. Greenhouse: No
96. Train: No
97. Carousel: No
98. Bridge: No
99. High School Reunion: No
100. College Quad: No

How about you?

-Jack

You've Got to be Shitting Me

A woman from Houston Texas has had her breasts declared the biggest in the world. From the UK's Daily Star:

SHEYLA Hershey’s massive 38KKK breasts have been declared the world’s biggest boob job.

The 28-year-old American housewife and model has undergone nine ops to get her amazing figure.

And even though medics have warned that her breasts are in danger of exploding, she does not seem to care.

Sheyla, from Houston, Texas, said: “To me, big is beautiful. I don’t think I have anything to worry about.”

She had to go to Brazil for her last op after US doctors refused to carry out any more surgery on her Now Sheyla is in the record books for having the largest breast implants ever.

Her British ex-boyfriend started paying for her plastic surgery, but she left him after he begged her to stop.

She said: “I loved him very much but I had to leave him to follow my dream.”

Sheyla appears on The World’s Most Enhanced Woman And Me, next Wednesday on C4, at 10pm.

You read that right: Her breasts are in danger of exploding. Exploding. Normal breasts should not, and under ideal circumstances do not, explode. If a doctor tells you that your breasts are in danger of exploding, it's probably safe to say you've made some bad decisions.

Also, 38KKK? Those breasts seem awfully racist. Anyway, if you can't get enough of Ms. Hershey and her inflatable pool toys, her website can be found at www.sheylahershey.net.

Jack's Word of the Day: retrocopulation [ret-ro-cop-you-LAY-shun] (n.) sex from behind, or with the partners facing away from each other

"Watching two neighborhood dogs in the act of retrocopulation, I suddenly had the urge to approach my wife from behind."

-Jack

The Case of the Mysterious Disappearing Blog Post

I am posting this mainly as a test. On February 8th, I posted a new entry, which has somehow been deleted. As I am not in the practice of deleting blog entries, I am at a loss to explain how this happened. Therefore, I am posting this now to see if it too disappears. If it doesn't, then I will chalk it up to a fluke and try and re-post the entry from February 8th. If it does, then something's wrong with the blog. We shall see.

-Jack

My Super Bowl Fantasy, Part 2

I planned to post this entry a couple days ago, but each time I started writing it I kept getting distracted and having to stop.

I excused myself to the shower, the tantalizing thoughts of what had just transpired still fresh. As I let the water cascade all over my body, I relived it in my mind. I was still very aroused. As I washed my hair I imagined both men touching me once again. As I lathered myself up, I began to touch my body all over. I felt myself growing more and more aroused as my fingers traveled over my breasts, down my stomach and across my thighs.

As I played and fantasized, I dropped to my knees and let the hot spray rinse my hair. I could feel the shampoo running down the side of my face, over my cheeks and down my chin. My busy fingers brought me to a quick climax, and I wondered if the guys were back to watching the game. I hoped not. I wanted more.

My heart leapt as I heard the bathroom door opening. I peered through the steam to see that it was Jason.

"I thought you might need some help," he said. He was naked, and very aroused. I felt bad that he hadn't gotten to come earlier. Maybe we would be able to fix that. I pulled the shower door open and he stepped inside. He pulled it shut behind him and embraced me immediately. My knees turned to jelly as he kissed me, but his muscular arms steadied me before I could fall.

As my hands explored his chest his lips pressed tightly against mine, his tongue darting in and out of my mouth. Then he turned me away from him and I could feel him erect, pressing hard against me. I was excited, eager to feel him inside me once again. His hands cupped my breasts greedily, rolling my nipples between his fingers. I leaned my head back and offered him my tongue, which he enthusiastically took.

With one hand still on my breast, he moved his other down my body, finally coming to rest between my legs. My heart thundered as he touched me, beating harder and faster as I felt him caressing me from below. We continued to kiss, and he spun me around to face him once more. His body was chiseled and firm, and while he touched me I caressed him as well, from his broad, smooth chest to his thick, steely cock.

When the kiss finally broke, he moved from my lips to my chin, then down to my breasts. His confident fingers fondled one nipple, while his mouth lavished attention on the other. He descended to my stomach, then shifted his focus to my thighs, covering them with warm, loving kisses. By the time he finally spread my lips with his hands and explored me with his tongue, my head was practically spinning.

Jason lay me down on the shower floor on my back, spread my legs as wide as he could, and devoured me for what seemed like forever. I rode a nonstop wave of orgasms until we were both satisfied. He wiped his chin, licked his fingers clean, and came up from between my legs. He kissed me softly and whispered in my ear, "You're delicious."

“Your turn,” I said as he rose to his feet.

Jill

My Super Bowl Fantasy, Part 1

I love football. I've been a fan my entire life. All summer long I look forward to the start of the season, and I tune in every week to watch my favorite team play. Even when I know they have no shot at the post-season, I continue to root for them.

This fantasy doesn't have a lot to do with football, but it does take place on Super Bowl Sunday. Wait, am I allowed to say "Super Bowl"? I think "Super Bowl" is a registered trademark and I am supposed to call it "The Big Game." Anyway, here it is.

I carried the bowl of chips into the living room and left it on the coffee table. I returned to the kitchen with two empties and switched them out for two ice cold beers. I popped the tops and brought them out to the guys.

Back in the kitchen I began cooking the chicken wings. I kept an ear open for the game, listening as the guys became more rambunctious every time a touchdown was scored. During a commercial break, Jack called out for more salsa, and I refilled the empty bowl. They also asked for a couple more beers, and I gladly complied. But when that was done, I decided to change my clothes. If I was going to be their servant, I ought to look the part. In the bedroom I put on a low-cut black top, my shortest black skirt, a pair of fishnet stockings and high heels, and a white apron. Instant French maid.

As I sauntered back into the living room, both guys immediately looked up at me. I was pleased to see that there was something that could turn their attention away from the game. I dropped myself into Jack’s lap and asked how the game was going. He pointed out that it was halftime – I should have known – and that since the halftime show wasn’t any good they needed some entertainment. Feeling especially daring, I began to bump and grind, slowly stripping off the apron, then the skirt and the top, leaving myself in just my bra, panties, stockings and heels.

I stepped out of the heels, got down on my hands and knees, and crawled over to the couch where Jack was sitting. He had an erection that was visible through his jeans, and I rubbed it, feeling him strain against me. Without looking up, I could feel both his and Jason's eyes on me as I opened Jack’s pants and freed his swelling, hard cock. Holding it in a firm grip I began to lavish kisses all over the head and shaft, moving my lips and tongue all over him. I stroked him vigorously and sucked him deeply into my mouth, then looked up at his face to enjoy his reactions.

As I continued to pleasure Jack, I was startled to feel a warm hand on my bare back. Jason's hand. He began to slowly and sensuously massage me, moving from my back to my ass, tracing my curves with confident movements. He moved down to my thighs, the heat from his hands further arousing me. I was tempted to turn around, to make eye contact and urge him onward, but there was no way I was going to stop doing what I was doing to Jack, or even pause. So I was glad when I felt his hand slip between my legs and envelop me through my panties, already damp with desire. His palm gently caressed me, sending an electrical charge through my body. I had waited for this moment for a very long time, and I was eager to experience it all.

As though he could read my mind, Jason pulled my panties aside and kissed me. His tongue was firm but not stiff, each lick sending a surge through me. He sucked on my juicy lips, then resumed licking, lapping up my wetness as his tongue invaded me, seeking those underappreciated parts of my pussy that were most in need of attention. I could feel my heart pounding with excitement as his fingers met his tongue. At first it was a gentle, reassuring touch. Soon, however, I was luxuriating in the sensations as his fingers slid in and out of me, his thumb buzzing my clitoris. I grew wetter and wetter, and I took Jack even deeper. Behind me, Jason was as intent on my orgasm as I was on Jack’s, and I was ready for both.

Jason stopped playing with me just long enough to pull down my panties, planting exquisite kisses on my cheeks and down my legs as he did. As I shook them off of my feet, I longed to feel his fingers and his mouth back on me where they belonged. As he massaged my thighs I took my mouth off of Jack’s cock and urged Jason to go back to doing what he was doing before. He didn’t need much urging, and he dove back onto me, his mouth and his fingers working together to achieve the desired result.

I was very close, and I could tell that my husband was too.  I wasn't done with Jack by any means, and I slowed down even as Jason pushed me further, his tongue working overtime. He was probing so deeply inside me that it felt like he was trying to get lost between my lips.  I couldn’t take it anymore. Just one more lick was all it was going to take. That's when I felt the head of Jason's cock pressing against me from behind. 

I knew what he wanted.  I wanted it too.  I arched my back and all at once Jason was inside me, each strong thrust dangerously close to unlocking my orgasm at long last.  My pussy clenched around his steel-hard length, and as his hands gripped my hips he pushed into me with as much energy as he could muster.  Doing my best to concentrate on Jason's long, swift strokes against my G-spot, I continued to lick and suck the throbbing cock in front of me.  As I came, I took Jack deep into my throat.  My pussy gushed like a fountain, the sounds of my pleasure muffled as I undulated my hips against Jason's.

As I rode continuing waves of ecstasy I felt Jack tensing up and heard his moans.  His cock throbbed in my mouth even as Jason's throbbed in my pussy.  I took my mouth off of Jack and he stood over me, stroking quickly even as Jason cried out in ecstasy, his moans filling my ears along with my husband's.  I could feel Jason's cum fill me even as I watched the throbbing head of Jack's cock erupt, a warm fountain of white sweetness raining down on me. 

As we caught our breath, Jack noticed that the game was starting again.  Just in time!

More to come! (No pun intended!)

Jill